Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Why do we feel alone?



This is the generation of internet. And when I say internet I don’t mean all the important aspects of it like net banking or online booking and stuff like that which actually helped humanity someway or the other. But what i'am referring to here is those aspects of Internet we stanchly use like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and all the so called “cool” applications which are most widely used across the globe using devices evolved through technology like mobile phones, Macbook, Macbook air, laptops etc.

Now there is no wonder as to why I am referring to all these apps with the title being “Why do we feel alone?”
I 100% wholly and deeply agree with the fact that the more this technology has narrowed down the world the more it has widened the gap between humans. I mean how rarely is it seen two humans interacting and having the time of their lives without looking at their cell phones even once. Very rarely right? 
Or even in a family. Four people are sitting in the living room busy chatting with four other people outside the living room, intentionally or unintentionally forgetting or maybe ignoring their own family members. Most of the times we are talking with the person sitting right across us and one beep, just one beep on our cell and we bow our heads down into another world forgetting the world and the place we’re currently into.

Now, a normal human has friends and family. They are like the most important aspects of any person’s life. A person talks with them, share his/her ideas with them, laugh with them, cry with them, eat with them, confront them, gets confronted by them. Now imagine these only lots of people who are more than important to you stop caring about you. I mean they do, they do care, but still there’s no one to talk, no one to cry with, no one to laugh with, everyone thinks you’re the one something’s wrong with. Everyone’s busy with their own life and career that you’re a mere priority to notice or care about. How would you feel? Lonely? Alone? Depressed?
Yes. That’s how depressed people feel. That’s how people who feel all alone go through. 
They are surrounded by 5 people but none of them worth talking to. None of them feels like the one who’d understand you or won’t judge you or give you that comfort you’ve been wanting since forever.  And I’m not saying that technology or internet is ‘the only’ reason behind such behavior of people. But it’s one of the most crucial reason behind how people interact with each other.

How you ask?

There are many ironical examples, real life examples that would make you feel sad as well angry at the same time. A person talks with his friend, rather I should say gossips with his friend on his cell phone for hours and hours about people who are happily living their lives. But when it comes to the brother or sister or spouse of that same person who is depressed as hell they literally goes unnoticed by that same person who doesn’t even bother to ask how’s their life's going? Or how was their day at college or work? And not necessarily he's doing it intentionally. But I mean if you have all the time in the world to talk about people who does not even belong to you, who are already happy in their lives and have people to take care of them; and you still can’t take like 10-15 minutes out of that “busy schedule” to talk to that one person who has nothing but you, who is depressed or feel alone and need someone to talk and who relatively belongs to you. Isn’t it sad? Doesn’t it make you angry? That’s how ironical technology has made our lives. 

Now, had it been the case that the person gossiping on the cell phone didn’t possessed any cell phone on the first place, wouldn’t the scenario be completely different? Every time their brother or sister or spouse or whosoever would come home, they would welcome them joyously and spend hours talking with them about their lives. This is just one of the hypothetical, could be possible or must have been the case with few people example. There are many other examples like these. People do go through some serious shit in their lives which are not under their control. The concept of FOMO is not a myth, it does exists. And your job is not to make anyone feel that feeling, or not to let them go through that phase.

Today in our virtual life we might be having thousands of friends on Facebook, thousands of followers on Instagram, but all of that is of what use when not even a single person in your real life can help you or wipe those tears off of your cheeks?

We measure our happiness with the number of likes on our new profile picture. We devote our time for all the entertainment of the world. But we ignore the number of times we ignored people who were breathing right underneath our noses while we were busy exploring Kim Kardashian’s Instagram feed. I know it's ironical that i'am ranting about internet by using internet or technology. But the point is, i'am not completely criticizing it. I'am criticizing the fact how people prioritize their time between real people in their lives and virtual people on the internet, or people far away who doesn't even know you. That's the whole point behind this blog.

Talking about priorities. There are very few selfless friends or people who prioritize a relationship, a friendship over their own needs. Career is good. Working hard for it is good. But that doesn’t mean it is everything. That doesn’t mean that you’ll ignore or see the people around you less or put them down. That doesn’t mean that you’re gonna hold a perception about them that they are gonna be with you only for those 2 or 4 or 6 years, and so you’re just gonna spend time with them like they are transient and treat them accordingly. No. You just can’t assume the span of time people are gonna stick with you. You’ve to treat them as if they’re your people, that they are gonna last forever, as long as they treat you the same way. 
As correctly said by the successful and well known author Robin Sharma, 
“At the end of your life, i don't think your life is gonna be measured in terms of success, or how much money you make, the carriage you drove, the home you lived in. I truly believe what will matter most when you're on your deathbed will be were you an instrument of service to as many people as possible? Nothing matters more than your impact on humanity."

 If you'll fit this sentence in your mind, you're definitely less likely to be the reason behind someones depression or someone feeling alone.

Now, what's the remedy?
Actually, it's simple and everyone, like each and everyone of us are aware about it. Talk about it. Very rarely you find people who understand the importance of talking and conversing with their friends. Cause honestly, the only cure to take one out of depression, or get out of depression or not feel alone is having a healthy conversation. Just talk. Talk it out. Say that it's that one thing you did this one time that i felt bad about. Sort it out. Ask people around you, if they're okay. Because they are just one talk away getting out of the loop of loneliness. Forgive people. Seek forgiveness. Be kind to humanity and the humanity will be kind to you.

-Tejal Sushir
(Instagram: @the_untamed_writer)


Saturday, 13 August 2016

Gotta catch 'em all! Really?

All of a sudden a notification popped up into his mobile screen during maths lecture. He got excited. His eyes dazzled with hope. He equally got nervous and started sweating. He wanted to go out with his cell phone, hands started shaking, fingers tickling, a rush of blood flowing through his veins. Getting all nervous he couldn't take it anymore. He immediately stood up and screamed, "Sir, may i go to washroom." As soon as he was permitted he hastily rushed out of the class, following the route and ending up at another pokestop. Yes, all the excitement was just for the chase and an hope of getting a new pokemon.

Like seriously, what has happened to this world. This kind of craze was not even found at that time when the pokemon show used to forecast on the television in the late 90's and early 20's.
Like people are actually leaving their job for hunting pokemon's. Travelling the globe just for collecting pokemon's. But for what? For whom? Is there any kind of prize or will they be awarded with money or anything valuable? Okay, it's a game. So simply play it as a game. Why so serious? I know people are huge huge and huge pokemon fan, like there are so many childhood memories attached with that show. I do completely understand. But that doesn't mean you will leave your job or quit everything and go hunt virtual images for nothing. Literally for NOTHING.

Everything has its own finite limit. Nothing looks preferably exciting or amusing when it gets beyond limit. It gets into a wrong zone of excitement where only destruction and downfall is promised.

Last night i saw on news that this guy who walked miles and collected around 4700 pokemons. Like how? HOW and WHY? I mean alright it's a cool entertaining game, again people are huge pokemon fan but isn't this all too much? Too much? This game has crossed every level of craziness to be honest.

My friends after college instead of getting a taxi, walk to the station just for collecting more and more pokemons. It's totally time wasting as a matter of fact. I agree that it is cool, addicting, and c'mon it's pokemon and you should play it. You should definitely play it for your amusement. M not saying don't. But again play it in a "limit".

So much has changed in this era of gaming. Where at one time we had super mario and now... COC then mili militia and now, pokemon GO. People are crazily getting serious about "gotta catch 'em all."
But one thing that's still not changed in this huge gaming revolution. Any guesses?
Rahul Gandhi still plays chota bheem. These kids nowadays you know. :p

Now i'm almost doubting Mr. Narendra Singh Modi, figuring out his purpose behind all the tours.
And now probably all the uber and ola drivers might be having maximum number to pokemons, getting familiar with each and every pokestop across the city.
This scenario of today's world running behind virtual images only indicate how much our mind can get entangled with these gizmos and gadgets; making us their slaves. And we willingly helplessly surrender all of our time and energy behind them.

-Tejal Sushir



Saturday, 16 July 2016

Why are we here?


Do you ever wonder about this? What are we doing here in this world? What's the purpose behind our existence? For what reason we've been brought to this very life. What's our aim? Each and every one of us has to definitely die one day. Where will we go after dying. Will we ever be able to see our family again anyhow? Is there really an afterlife? Or at the end we will only be buried deep into the soil and get degraded there and never come into existence ever again. This everything scares me sometimes. I have been given a life. What should i do, to make this one life that i've been given, worth living.

I need to use this life to my fullest. Do something for this society, for this country, for this world, before i depart. I have such a less time to do something big.

As a traveller in this journey called life, i often frantically wonder, and all these questions keep revolving round my head. What will happen when we will die? There is this earth, all these stars and planets, bunch of galaxies, what's beyond all these? What's beyond this universe, this space?

As we can mostly see in the rains, when the rainwater gets filled or gets collected into the potholes on the road or at any other places, mostly in the shallow pits of the corners, the water usually remains stagnant. And it leads to flies and other insects wander and stray around it. And that causes many harmful diseases for the people living around that area.
This reference can also be used with our human brain. Yes, our human brain. It's a very popular saying that "an empty mind is devil's workshop". It can easily be explained as, when our brain is not in work or when we are being too lazy, lying on the bed, resting all day doing nothing progressive, i.e when it's in a stagnant position; many negative thought's begin to dwell and wonder round our brain. We tend to think about something wrong. Because when your mind is not busy, it gets frustrated inducing boredum in the sence and drive your mind to think about negative and wrong things. And that my friend's consequently causes harm to us and our life.

So don't just always be free. Don't let your brain rot. Keep yourself busy with some or the other thing, something that make you feel alive. Make your self worth living. Don't waste your life doing nothing, staring into nothingness and in the void of negative thoughts. Keep it busy and engaged with any activity that you like, that make you happy, something that is your passion. And if you haven't found or figured out yet, what your heart beats for, find that out. Go discover the world. This is a big universe and as said by Steve Jobs, "We are here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here."

So get up guys. Get yourself up from that lazy comfy couch, and engage yourself in some productive activity. Do something, instead of wasting this precious life. Thank your family and friends for everything, before its too late. Go out and dance under the sunshine, walk in the rain, swim in the ocean, fly in the sky, discover the world and consequently, you will discover yourself.

-Tejal Sushir





Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Giving up is an option, but not the only option.

Her heart was flammable towards the unwanted chaos of the world. No matter how much she covered her ears those taunts and puns would prick her like pointed needle. The society mortified her every single time she walked on the road. Her parents wanted her to become a well known doctor and study human biology. But she dreamt of becoming something else. Something her heart pounds for. Something of her own. Yes, she wanted to start up her own business, she dreamt of becoming an entrepreneur.

But....Yeah, in a country like India; these "buts" of society murder the only flame of passion burning within the young youths.  Many of us are familiar with Sharma uncle's son. She didn't wanted to be like him. She didn't wanted to live his life, but of her own. Family was not much supportive as they had a preconception that it won't provide her with much sum amount of money, plus there are mountains of risks in the journey of an entrepreneur especially for a girl. That latter words hit her the most.

She thought a lot about it one night, may be it does has risks. But one shouldn't drop the idea just out of fear; without even giving it a try. Her parents were in no mood to allow her for the purpose. She wanted to live her own life, rather than her parents. "What if i become a doctor. What if i make my parents proud by holding a degree of MBBS. But that wouldn't make me proud. That wouldn't make me happy. Even if i will be rich and busy with my parents contented; i wont be living a life i want. But if i wont be a doctor that would hurt my parents and i don't want that". All these thoughts kept revolving round her mind all night, and she couldn't come out with a solution making her angry and frustrated.

Just when she was about to give up, a sound echoed in her mind. Sound so familiar. It was her own voice, straight from the heart. which kept reciting motivational verses. Making her think what could her family and friends would go through by the pain of her loss. She knew giving up was an option, but not the only option. She was influenced by her own angels which encouraged her to take risk, to do something for herself. So she stood up on her feet again, all brave and careless towards the chit chat society. Walking on her own path, following her own terms and norms, being a leader but not by following others direction. She worked hard upon her passion. Though secretly from her parents, but later when they were informed by her and seeing her immense success, they were never proud of their daughter before. Seeing her work with such dedication and honesty towards something she likes a lot made their eyes wet everytime.

Today, she is the owner of a billion dollar company, with thousands employees and over 27 branches all over india. If only she had not followed her instints and her heart and had courage to do what she likes, her scenario would be completely different today.

Now, you might be wondering who is this brave woman. Well, she just exist in my words, in this story and in our minds. Yeah, its just a story but somehow somewhere based upon real life stories of great owner of great companies who have struggled a lot to reach to the sky. Who have stepped out, disagreeing with their closed ones, following their heart to become the most prestigious people today. Steve Jobs, Dick Costolo, Mark Zuckerberg and my most fav, Varun Agarwal and many others are such examples.

Just don't be afraid guys. All those taunts and pricks wont matter at all once you set up your own empire. If you have passion, will, desire and dedication towards something and you see your future really going that way, don't think about any other thing, just give it a chance and you will be the most contented and happy person and you will surely not regret the life you lived when you will look back at the past counting last days of your life.

-Tejal Sushir